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The only thing more terrifying than the escaped lunatic’s hook was his twisted call… Hey campers! That’s so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns. If I wanted something your thumb touched I’d eat the inside of your ear.

A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine. So did you see the new Poof? His name’s Gary and we don’t need anymore lawsuits.

I’ve been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can. A million ****ing diamonds! I shall hide behind the couch. (Guy’s a pro.) That’s my son, you pothead! Well, yeah you’ve gotta lock that down.

For the same reason you should believe a hundred dollar bill is no more than a hundred pennies! We all need to pick a day to try and make trend. Well, OK, have sex with this girl. Right now. Get in there, have some sex with her. I’ve been in the film business for a while but I just can’t seem to get one in the can. Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit?

Nellie is blowing them all AWAY. I’ll sacrifice anything for my children. Way to plant, Ann! They’re not gonna strip, right? I told them not to, but I can’t guarantee their instincts won’t kick in.